What should we be able to do? A request for input:

Yesterday, our articling student at work was late.  I was later, but that is not the issue.  The reason she was late was that her car would not start and needed to be boosted because of the cold.  Instead, her Mother drover her to work.  They had a working car and jumper cables, but did not boost the car themselves.  Why not?  "My dad wasn't there."

Really?

Is that were we are as a society that a young lady of reasonable intelligence can't jump start a car without her father doing it for her?

It got me to thinking, and chatting with a handful of people, what should a person be able to do by the time they reach adulthood?  We came up with a list.  I hope that my readers will provide any additional suggestions.

1. Jump start a car.  This is important because you can use it to help people, help yourself, avoid a 5 hour wait for the auto club, and if a good Samaritan is doing it wrong to your vehicle, they might set your engine on fire before they get your car started.

2. Change a tire.  See 1.

3. Drive a manual transmission.

4. Ride a bicycle.

5. Swim 100 meters without stopping.  This could save your life.

6. Cook a meal for 8 from scratch.  One that is reasonably impressive.  Everyone needs a party piece, and the skills you learn doing this will probably carry over to any number of other preparations.

7. Start a campfire.  Not in heavy winds without matches or tools, just under normal circumstances and without making yourself look like an ass.  I have taught bright 11 year olds to do this, you should be able to as well.

8. Chop wood without injuring yourself.  Again, 11 year olds.

9. Eat a formal dinner without embarrassing yourself.  Come on now people, is this really difficult?

10. Tie a necktie.  If you are a female, you must be able to do it in reverse for your partner who lacks this skill.  It is never acceptable to tie a tie once and leave it that way on the hanger.  It will damage the tie, shortening its life and creasing it in terrible ways, and you will look silly because of it.

11. Iron a shirt without damaging it.

12. Polish your shoes with a paste polish, not the kind that squeezes out of a bottle onto a sponge.  There is a reason they still make the old-fashioned stuff, it works a hundred times better.

13. The next two made the list because of some of the younger people I have met who have problems with them.  Tie your shoes.  Velcro and slip-on skate shoes have not made shoelaces obsolete.  It is also not acceptable to leave the shoes tied and treat them as slip-ons because, first it makes you look silly, and second it will result in damage to your shoes, feet and posture.

14. Tell analog time without thinking about it.  If you have to use the words "big hand" and "little hand" in your head, you need to work on this skill.

15. Tell 'Military' or 24 hour time without thinking about it.  When you are at the airport looking at the flight arrivals screen, you don't want to ask stupid questions.

16. Play an instrument and read sheet music.  This may be the most difficult set of skills on the list, but if you master them you have achieved something of value.

17. Perform general first aid.  You could save a life.  It may be yours.

18. Tell three jokes suitable for mixed company.  They should be funny, and you should be able to tell them with some panache.

19. Hammer in a nail without injuring yourself or bending it in half.

20. Make change without electronic assistance.  I am constantly shocked at how many people in the retail trade can't do this - a skill that takes one minute to learn.

21. Tip appropriately without asking silly questions or using a calculator.

22. Sew on a button and hem a pair or pants.  I admit that I cannot do the latter.  It irks me that I have to pay someone to do it for me.

My dad, being somewhat more frontiers-y than I am, made three additional suggestions, which I include in decreasing order of my own perception of their relevance.

23. Load and fire a firearm safely.  I actually agree with this for a number of reasons and was waffling about whether to include it myself.  First, when the zombie apocalypse comes, everyone will need to know how to do this, it just makes sense.  Second, even in the absence of zombies, I can conceive of social circumstances where a person might be called upon to fire a firearm.  I don;t want to be the fellow who doesn't join the lads  for a day's trap shooting because I am embarrassed by my lack of knowledge.  Ultimately, firearms are still somewhat prevalent in north American society, less so in Canada, but still there, and it would benefit a person to have a working knowledge of something so potentially dangerous that they may interact with.  That having been said, the other reason is that shooting guns is totally fun.  I don't believe in private citizens using firearms for "protection", I don't hunt, all I do is enjoy the act of shooting.  

24. Operate a chainsaw.  Arguably it is more likely that a person will be called upon to operate a chainsaw than a firearm, but I don't foresee the likelihood of a social interaction involving chainsaws.  That having been said, if the power is out and you need firewood, this is a handy skill to have.

25. Castrate cattle.  What can I say?  My dad put in some farm time as a child.  I cannot reasonably foresee any person being called upon unexpectedly to castrate cattle, nor can I foresee someone placed in that situation being left to the task without instruction.

There you have it.  I definitely need a new #25.  Help if you will.

Well, it had to end sooner or later.

Up until now, the weather has been enough to make Ralph Klein believe in global warming.  That will change on the weekend when it is set to drop to -30 for the first time this year.  

That more or less puts the kibosh on any brewing I was planning to do on the weekend.  What may have to get done is the laundry that has been piling up and the ironing that I have been avoiding for so long.  All that aside, I can honestly say that the Christmas season is starting to get a little dull ever since I finished my shopping.  We aren't even hosting a dinner this year, so there is really nothing to panic about.

This means that I will need to get something going.  I need to plan a party.  Yes.  Party.  Jenn will love that.

Grey Cup Weekend

It was a long weekend.  Not very relaxing.  On the up side, on Sunday, Nick and I fired up a batch of Beer - 8 C Extra Special Bitter - which means that we have finished one entire category of beer from the list - English pale ale.  It smells really good, too.

I have also managed to lay my hands on some English "special Roast" and "Brown Malt" which will expand some of the types of beer I can make right now.  That having been said, I am thinking of trying to brew some lager this winter as one corner of my basement is reliably about 50 degrees Fahrenheit, so that opens up a large portion of previously accessed beers.

Also fun is the fact that I seem to be settling files at a tremendous rate, so that I might have room to take on new clients after Christmas.  

Maybe I can use this parchment to keep cookies from sticking...

So here I am, with yet another university degree on my wall.  BA, LLB, LLM.  How does this affect my life?  New business cards.  Any other way?  Not really.  I'm published in the library of Parliament, does that count?

To celebrate, gonna make beer and watch the Grey Cup.  Not quite sure what kind of beer yet.  Maybe ESB, maybe porter.

Christmas shopping and beer

Yesterday, Jenn and I celebrated our Sunday by going to Costco and doing our Christmas shopping.  There are few things I like more than going to Costco at Christmas and finding some of the best and most acclaimed books of the year (and I am thinking particularly of cookbooks) for about half of what I would pay anywhere else.  I also love it when their cheese selection goes from 20 to 60 overnight.  That makes me happy.

When we got home, Jenn helped me to bottle two batches of beer, an Imperial (or double) India Pale Ale, clocking in at 7.3% ABV and well over 100 IBU, which had a lovely grapefruit aroma and is called Amarillo Sunset, and a Belgian Golden Strong of about 9% which I haven't named yet.  Needless to say, large bottles of these two should be treated with caution.

Obligatory Obama Victory Post

I finally feel as though our long global nightmare - the failed experiment called neoconservatism - might starting the slow but inevitable road to the end.  The death-throes might linger, but the next time the same ideas come around, hopefully it will be under some new moniker.  I will be satisfied with a couple of terms of centre-left classical liberalism with some social conscience thrown in for good measure.  

Obama invoked Lincoln, when he spoke about the "Better angels" of America's nature.  It has been a long time since most of the world has seen that from the American administration.  I hope that the new administration can remind the rest of the world what we love about America - not the power or wealth or culture (trust me, it ain't any of those things) - but the real ideology of America that people are basically good, that if left alone most people will do the right thing, and that if you aren't hurting anyone, more power to you.  The Americans I have ever dealt with have been kind, generous, more or less charming, and most have a fascinating optimism about the world and its perfectibility.  I love that.  

I have heard America compared to a big, friendly, badly trained dog.  You might get slobbered on, things might get knocked over or your yard dug up, but mostly intentions are good if you don't annoy it too much.  For too many years, the dog has gone from a friendly pup to a fear-biting and suspicious pound dog.

Lets keep our fingers crossed for the good dog to come back. 

Two more beers and other news

On Thanksgiving Nick and I brewed a Belgian Golden Strong, a style you may have seen in the store as "Fin Du Monde" or "Delerium Tremens" or "Duvel"  And clocks in at 8% + alcohol.  The other one we made was an Imperial India Pale Ale, a style developed in the US which has an awful lot of hops in it.  It was our way of celebrating the hop harvest and having five pounds in the freezer at once, a pound of which all went into one batch of beer.  Fabulous.  It smells great.

The other news is that the principal of the school where Jenn had so many problems last year is no longer the principal of that or any school, a change that occurred in the middle of October, no less, which seems to me to be an indication that there were some serious problems with her, probably from many sides.  Jenn just figures that her victory is complete.

Scoring one for the good guys:

Ok... remember back a few years, and the latest greatest thing to come from LucasArts was "X-Wing" which put you in the seat of the fighter spacecraft of the Rebel Alliance?  That was fun and all, but a couple of years later, a much more fun game came out... similar in most ways, similar but improved controls and graphics... but instead, for the first time in franchise history, you were on the side of the Evil Empire.  It felt good.  Oh, the evil.  Bringing order to chaos, imposing your will on radical elements and pacifying cultures through force, just like the Republican Party.

Well, lets just say it can be fun to be the bad guy.  

Which is why I feel odd having just plonked down hard earned cash for that most counter-cultural of desktop computers.  Yes, folks, I am now a Mac User.  For the above-noted evil-empire-type reasons, I have been a PC user for many years, but now that I am married, I no longer get my way, and I am instead forced to embrace the attitudes and OS preferences of my beloved.  And here it is.  I have bought into the Rebel Alliance of computers.

How is it?

Not bad.

Although the selection of game titles is thin.

Success

Yesterday I picked up my new (to me) suit and sport coat from the tiny Vietnamese tailor with foot thick glasses.  The suit isn't anything special, Arnold Brandt, a made in Canada number, not outsourced, grey, with pick-stitching on the lapels, which the tailor was good enough to do the cuffs on... a suit that at Harry Rosen would have listed about $800 or up.

He wouldn't stop raving about my sport-coat, though.  "You no a tailor, so you don't know about these things, but I see inside!  That very good.  You buy good like that and you wear 10 Year!"

Oh, who made the sport coat?  Samuelshon.  Rack price, $999.00.  Picked it up for around $130.00.  

I am so going back to that store.

The other thing is that they have a selection of formalwear that they blow out really really cheap.  Good tuxes for $100-$150, which means that it would be cheaper to buy one than to rent, which means that I am on her "look for this for me" list.

I went over all this with the owner just after my purchases and after mentioning that I only wear vintage cufflinks.  She walks me back to the formalwear section, and takes a look in my size and says, "There's nothing here that you would want.  You want a shawl collar with satin facings, right?"  

Okay, first, yes.  Second, am I really that easy, was it the vintage cufflink thing?  Third, is it odd that a man barely in his thirties who is currently sitting around in a t-shirt that says "Drunken Lazy Bastard" in block letters across the back has an opinion about this?

Yeah, I'm going back there, but I promise, only for ties right now.  (ties you can't even buy in Canada, $12.00)

Oh dear... My spending money budget is going to go out the window.

The new black

Bonus time has come and gone, new appliances s have been purchased, and the subject of a soon-to-come post has been expensively embraced by the family. It has come time for Owen to consider the fact that since beginning his law practice five years ago, he has not been able to afford a new suit.

"But Owen", you say, "surely a successful Barrister such as yourself can afford to buy any number of quality work-related garments! And anyway, you took two years off to "find yourself" and "get married" and "get a Masters" and "Goof Off"".

Fair enough. There have been some new shirts ($1.00 each at a charity sale), shoes (Florshiem Half-Brogues in Black, and a re-soling of my Florshiem Oxfords - leaving me with enough dress shoes to last me for years), barrister's waistcoat (Firm paid), an overcoat (Navy, good wool, no cashmere, on sale at the Bay on Boxing Day) some ties (gifts) and gold vintage Tiffany and Heirloom Cloisonne cuff links (also gifts, and ones I cherish).

My suits, however, have seen better days.

The cuffs on the pants, for example, are starting to go. Also, when I bought my suits, I was about 35 pounds heavier, and it shows in the cut. Even with the pants taken in once, they don't fit well, and I look like I am wearing my big brother's clothes. Even my best dress shits, and my only french cuffs, are wearing out.

I could, you know, go out and buy a suit at any time for cheap. Hell, Moores sells them for $139.00 four times a year. The problem with a cheap suit, and I have owned cheap suits, is that they make you Feel cheap. Further, the website describes the availability of "High Performance" suit fabrics. I am loath to buy a suit at a store that will be willing to sell me a suit in ripstop nylon or red and yellow sharkskin corduroy. The problem I have is one of being spoiled for life. It happened like this:

For years, I remember my dad coming home from work in his uniform. Unlike some of the dads in the neighborhood (I lived near an army base) his uniform was one of a starkly conservative dark business suit with a solid coloured shirt, barrel cuffs, point collars, well-shined shoes (I remember watching him sit with his shoe shine box, polishing his shoes, it stuck with me...) latterly the suits were Samuelsohn, whose off-brand - Cambridge - I wear now. (If I wanted to buy Samuelsohn today, I would be looking at $1800.00, which I can't really afford at this point) The only nod to his up-from-the-ranks background at the company was the only briefcase I have ever known him to carry, a brown plastic Samsonite, engraved as a presentation piece, and of such obvious and crippling sentimental value that carrying it in the latter stages of his career could only have been described as eccentric.

We all turn into our fathers, I suppose. I remember as a young teenager my dad explaining why he would spend that kind of money for a suit, "You only have to buy it once." Little did I know that this was true in more ways than one. Not only are good suits durable in the extreme, but they are as addictive as cigarettes (the other part of my dad's uniform, being a pack of Craven "A" King Sized). Once you wear a good suit, the idea that it is uncomfortable or awkward to wear a suit and tie is forever abolished, and you will generally refuse to wear a suit that does not conform to your newly raised standards.

He still wears Sameulsohn, my dad, creature of habit that he is. A sport coat on sale at Ed Williams in Calgary that feels wonderful, and will last another 20 years. I think back to my dad's unused suits and regret that we no longer wear the same size as one another, as we did for a brief period in 1993.

When I graduated from law school in 2003, I scammed a line of credit from my bank, "I'm starting my first job out of law school in two weeks and I need walking around money". Little did they realize what an articling student is paid. Flush with good credit, I lashed out for a car (black) Johnson & Murphey shoes to complement my Florshiems, and two Cambridge brand suits. One Charcoal worsted, and one summer-weight pale grey. I have never spent so much money on clothes in one day before or since. Not even in most years. I was hooked from that day forward.

And now, here I am, married, homeowner, piled with responsibility, with little hope of satisfying the desire I have (some would say conformist snobbery, but I reserve that label for those wearing Prada and D&G, conservative business attire is hardly conformist these days) for fine woolen goods. There is a ray of hope, though. I have just discovered on the internet a store, four blocks from my office, that sells, "gently used" men's designer suits. Armani, Zenga, (Yawn) Hugo Boss... and down at the bottom of the page, "Samuelsohn".

It could be worse, a pack a day of cigarettes is still a two-Samuelsohn-a-year equivalent.

Unexpected expenses 101

Or, rather, $375.00, the tab for a new as-is clearance floor model washing machine.

Funny how you get used to being able to do laundry whenever you feel like it without searching for quarters and going for a drive, isn't it? Well, on Sunday, our laundry machine decided that it's drain pump would be better off making a burning electric motor smell than moving water out of the washer. As an entry level washer, it would cost more to fix than to replace, so off I go to the local furniture store, let's call it "The Cinder-Block", where I plonked down my much abused plastic for the cheapest thing in the department, which happens to be a rather nice washer marked down $200.00 because the bleach dispenser cap is missing. I can mix up my own bleach, thank you very much.

The down side of this is that they don't deliver to my area (who does, indeed) so I get to spend my Saturday moving laundry machines up and down the stairs to my basement.

All this comes at the same time as Jenn finding out that she will not be needed to cover the leave she had been subbing for for the first two weeks of school, leaving her at a .17 FTE, without benefits, and us a little poor for right now. Our best hope for not having to subsist on the crumbs we can scrape out of the bottom of the toaster will be my quarter-end bonus next Tuesday. Here's hoping it's not small.

I gots those four-time stage-crossin' mortarboardin' blues...

Against my better judgment, I have decided to attend my November 20th convocation. I now have two attendees and three tickets. The third ticket is up for grabs, and there may be more available. If anyone wants to be bored to tears for no good reason, just let me know. Personally, I think convocation is just a scam to get another $35.00 fee out of me and to make me sit around wasting a whole day on a work day when I could be out getting people divorced.

This one will make # 4. High school, BA, LLB. and now LL.M. Oddly, the one I seem to actually remember is high school.

The other news is that Jenn has a job full time staring Tuesday. She will be teaching .829 FTE at an elementary school covering what appears at this point to be a long-term leave. There may be more permanent jobs show up soon, we don't know. Next year is looking good because 6 new Jr and Sr high schools re opening in Edmonton and there will be a wave of retirements, too, most likely, so there will probably be a ton of positions opening up, at which she will get an insider's crack, being employed by the board and all. So this year we eat, next yer, maybe even more.

Test results

Some of you may remember my April 22 Beer Judge Certification Program exam. While I was away camping in Fairmont, the results came in by e-mail. I scored 83/100 on the tasting portion and 90/100 on the written portion. What this means is that (if you apply last year's statistics to this one) I am in the top 10% or so of exam writers. This thrilled me to no small extent.

Also camping was good, but I ate wayyyyyy too much everything.

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnd.............Done

As of August 22, 2008, I have completed all of the requirements of Master of Laws. My convocation is on November 20, and if you want to celebrate, I think I may be feeling partyish at that point. This is the culmination of 4 years of research, hard work and procrastination, and I feel like I have accomplished something. About 6 students per year start their LL.M at the U of A, and every time someone graduates, an announcement is made via e-mail to the rest of the students. About 6 people have completed in the 4 years I have been at it. I suspect that the drop-out rate is around 75%, on that basis.

So, big kudos for me.

Hemi-demi-semi done his thesis, he quavered...

I handed in my revisions Tuesday, today (Wednesday) got a call from my advisor saying he would call back tonight with an hour or so worth of revisions still needed, but nothing major, which means (If he ever does call) that I may be able to hand in my thesis by this Friday, rather than next and by doing so:
1) Be able to actually enjoy camping;
2) Be flipping well finished.

Also today, I went to court and actually WON! Completely won, like, on everything. And it was actually over an amount of money worth fighting over, too. I called my client to let them know we won, and they seemed kinda noncommittal. If I was about to get as much money as they re, I would be flipping thrilled.

This week seems to be my week of settling files. About 2 per day. If this keeps up, I will be able to take new clients again soon. And other clients fired me, which works just as well for reducing workload, if not more so because inevitably it is on high-conflict files that you get fired, and dropping one of those is as good as dropping three or four regular files.

Plus people seem to actually have recognized the fact that they have to pay their lawyer in a timely and complete fashion, which is a giant bonus when you are trying to justify your existence. A fellow needs to do more around the office than look pretty and drink his weight in beer

Update

How has the thesis writing been going? Good during the weekend, not as good weeknights, which has put me a little behind. I have therefore ordered a "Do it yourself long weekend kit" consisting of telling your boss you aren't coming in on Friday, a box of Popsicles, and 72 straight hours of quality time with my word processor. On the up side, I seem to be getting ahead at work, although I have yet to find a good balance between hyper-busy and kinda bored. At least hyper-busy means that I might make some bonus money this quarter to keep the wolves at bay. I seem to have managed to wind up in court four days next week. Not sure how that happened. Then we are going camping, which should be fun.

My main complaint lately is that the Olympics are too cool, and i wind up staying up past my bedtime to watch. I think they need to make sports less interesting.

Owen's Thesis

So it turns out that my defence was not on the 12th, but rather on the 1st, which was today. This was not a surprise to me, it just didn't make it onto my blog. The defence itself took 3 hours and the verdict was passed subject to revisions, which is exactly what I expected to happen. The practical outcome of this is that I have one more round of revisions to do to my thesis before I am done, but I don't have to go back before the committee. I will, however, be disappearing from view and spending most of my time working on the bloody thing some more until it is done. It could take me a few days, it could take me two weeks, but I will not be doing anything else until I am done, because I don't want to have to jump through the hoops needed to re-register for an additional semester after the technical end date of my program.

Wow

Today I finished the formatting for my thesis, tomorrow, I hand in a copy at FGSR, August 12, I defend, I submit almost right away after that.

Wow. Almost done. I wonder what I will feel guilty about not doing once it's done.

To celebrate, I will make beer.

More boring things that only interest me

This Canada Day weekend, I have worked on finishing my thesis (target date: Wednesday) and made two batches of beer, an Oatmeal Stout and Southern English Brown Ale This brings me to a total of 7 of 80, or almost 10% of the way to my goal. The addition of an electronic thermometer has really helped to have the beer turn out properly. Bottling of the Special bitter will be next weekend, and if i have enough bottles, I will bottle the stout too.

Our latest happenings and some beer

Just to keep people up to date, Jenn returned safely from the United states, although not without incident. Due to construction in Chicago, her bus from South Bend was delayed by almost an hour and she missed her check-in for the flight to Calgary. You can imagine the stream of increasingly agitated texts that I got. The good folks at United Airlines were good enough to stand her by for the direct flight to Edmonton leaving three hours later, which still had her home 45 minutes early. The bottom line there is that the only reason she wasn't on that flight in the first place was because it would have been an extra $300 if we had booked it that way.

When she got home, Jenn started in on Physio for her arm, which has been going well - and her arm is now out of the sling most of the time. She did have a bad ear infection, a flu, and what appears now to be a lung infection. I haven't caught any of this yet, but I assume it is only a matter of time until I do.

Jenn's work has been winding down as she is now supervising exams and shutting down the classroom for the summer. She won't be taking over the Mat Leave she had been promised and pressured to take, because they found a Catholic candidate at the last minute. She has, however, set up a program where she will be teaching band for distance-learning students throughout Edmonton, which means that she has a foot in the door at Edmonton Public. She has also applied to teach summer school and to do a few other sundry things to scrape together what (If I were to be earning it) I would call Beer Money, but I'm sure she would be more likely to spend on other more useful things.

At my work, a new articling student started at the beginning of the week, which has been kind of interesting. It really makes you appreciate how steep the learning curve was for you at the start of your career to see someone else go through it. I have also started taking new clients again for the first time in about three months.

Finally the beer News - After careful consideration of our ongoing likelihood of selling the house on any given day, I decided that my need to make my own beer outweighed my need for a spotless house, and I had Nick the Mighty Brewer over for some brewing. We hit Style 8B (English Special Bitter) with the following recipe:

4.4 KG 2 row pale malt
227 G Dark Munich
227 G Med Crystal
60 G Chocolate Malt

Single infusion Mash at 153 F

11 G Warrior @ 16.3% 60 Min
11 G Fuggles @ 4.5% & 7 G Hallertau @ 3.7% 20 Minutes
11 G Fuggles @ 4.5% & 7 G Hallertau @ 3.7% 1 minute

It seems pretty good so far. I'll let you know when I bottle if it tastes any good.

Embracing a different lifestyle

For the next three days, I will be embracing the "no-wife-at-home" lifestyle, which I can confirm isn't as much fun as the "my wife is in the same city as me" lifestyle. I don't handle these brief returns to single life particularly well, being a big needy tool like I am. While many men might relish a few days away from the old ball-and-chain, I rather dread the backslide into unfortunate single-life habits that actually living with someone prevents. For one thing, I haven't had any vegetables today. In fact, I think I will go eat some fruit just to keep from going totally feral. I feel a bit like Red Foreman when he said, "What is it God? It's Okay to eat meat and beer and cheese? Okay, I'll tell her..."

The trip to the Airport started out all wrong, with Jenn leaving her tickets and documents on the kitchen counter. I'm glad she had remembered to pack her passport, because I forgot to check for it on my trip back into the house to find the tickets.

On top of my already starting to live like a university student who has been turned loose in a friend's parent's house for the weekend unsupervised with a key to the liquor cabinet, to make matters worse, the text messages I am getting from Jenn are becoming increasingly alarming.

15:51 "Hey, I arrived at ND... Everyone was in the basement because of the severe tornado warning..."

16:44 "Can you contact the travel medical insurance people for me, I think I need to go to the hospital..."

18:00 "I'm a the hospital, and there are injured babies all over the place..."

The trip to the hospital is unrelated to the tornadoes, - ear infection - but I'm not sure about the injured babies. I keep expecting to turn on the news and see that the dead are rising from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living in Indiana. I'm just glad we chunked the extra $22.00 for the travel medical... I don't relish the thought of an un-insured hospital trip in the good-old USA.

This does have the effect of making the third trip to the hospital, and as we all know, bad things come in threes. My finger, Jenn's Shoulder, Jenn's ear. Now we should be clear for at least a month without going to any emergency rooms.

And now, for just a bit of out-shouting, for some generally unrecognized co-bloggers and friends who deserve some recognition, especially as I don't blog too much these days, and I don't have the long distance plan to call them anymore:

Malcolm, you old giant, next time I'm in town we're hitting Wild Rose, I met one of the higher-ups at a beer judging, and I am commanded to show up for a pint at the taproom.

Speaking of Brewers, Brian - congratulations on finishing your exams.

Ms. Mayhem, as you are now my official Vancouver connection, you may be imposed upon to direct me to excellent sushi and Indian next time I am in town. Take Heed. Also hug Mr. Tall for me next time you see him.

My Brother Doesn't
Update His Blog Very Much
Even Though he should.

Fabsuz - I promise to show you a good time next time you are in Edmonton - and don't give me that "I'm not going to be there" crap... we know that is all lies.

and to Dree and Goose, who prove that a friend you haven't met is not necessarily a stranger,
Dree: I look forward to seeing the upcoming knitting, I am strongly considering compounding the interest on the beer you owe me and taking it in the form of mittens and a place to stay the next time I am coming to the festival in Canso, and

Goose: You are in our (choose one - completely secular thoughts / prayers - whichever you would prefer.) as you welcome Fetus into non-fetus status.

Jenn just texted me an update telling me that
1) Yes, she has an ear infection.
2) It would have ruptured by morning.
3) She has seen the doctor and Pharmacist.
4) Drug prices in the US are unconcionable.

So if all of you can keep us in your (totally secular thoughts/prayers) (at your discretion) It would be much appreciated at this, our time of ear infections and separation.

In unrelated News

Notwithstanding Jenn's busted up wing, I decided to be the standard husband and go drink beer on weeknights. As a judge in the BJCP, I have certain responsibilites, which just happen to inculde dringing 47 different beers in 3 days, and giving each one serious consideration. Tonight, I get to clean the house, which needs it in a bad way after having been torn apart for painting, and then neglected by the only able-bodied person in the house in favour of beer.

Oh, and I forgot, on my last post, whoever had a double pick of Jenn/dislocation and Owen/electrocution is the overall winner in the pool.

Painting

So many of you know that Jenn and I were having a crowd over to paint yesterday. Many of you will also know that I am not generally known as the most careful or graceful person in the world, and that home improvement of any variety seems to only make my clumsiness worse. The question therefore is,

"Who had 'Owen falls off the Ladder while painting and has to go to the hospital' in the pool?"

Because that person would NOT win.

The winner is, "Jenn falls down the stairs and dislocates her shoulder while trying to carry curtains to the basement to put in the wash."

Anyway, long story short, Jenni s 6 weeks in a sling, and is pissed about that, we didn't get nearly the painting we had hoped to done being several hands short, but we did manage to get most of the downstairs and upstairs hallway and get a start on the master bedroom. A particular thanks goes out to Jocelyn, who sat with Jenn and tried to keep her from hyperventilating while I proceeded to completely lose it.

Operation: Carboy drop.

Or, in reality, Carboy drop, then operation - to-wit 6 stitches in my little finger of my left hand. Starting to hurt some. Tylenol 3 should be kicking in pretty soon. I'm fine. Don't worry. I still have more fingers than average.

Happenings

After a break from work (and blogging) I am back to the old salt mines, but the reduced pressure of no new files has allowed me to get some older stuff sorted out. Soon files will be closing and we will be back to a reasonable level.

On other topics, the Flames seem hell-bent on breaking my heart yet again, as I assumed they would, the beer I blogged about that I should have been bottling last August was finally thrown out last weekend, and I write my BJCP exam next Saturday, leaving me one week to study the diverse and complex topic of Beer.

Our house still hasn't sold, in its 15th week on the market, which is alright, except that it sucks having to clean all the time, since I am a complete slob when I can get away with it.

Anyway, back to my studies ... everything from AAU to Zymurgy.

I ain't saying I'm burnt out, but today was a bit of a flicker.

Today I ran out of steam in a huge way just after lunch. Several files are in the process of blowing up, and none of my files seem to be resolving. I have clients who seem to be on quest to make my life difficult, and I have opposing counsel who seem to be doing the same. For the first time in a long time, I have been losing sleep over files. (Also because today at 5:30 AM the cats decided to have a 'who can piss Owen off the most' contest.) My energy is waning, and it is affecting my ability to function at the level at which I want to. One factor in this is the sheer number of active files I am conducting, well over 100 since the other family law lawyer left the firm. This is about double what it should be. As a result, I will not be taking new files for the foreseeable future, and I will be working to close the ones I have to get down to a proper caseload.

Getting at the root of the problem is one key, and that is one that will have to be addressed over the next weeks and months. The other key is to de-stress right now, which means improving my diet and exercise, and really enjoying my upcoming 4 day weekend.

Larium

Antimalarial drugs are giving me an upset tummy. Could be worse. They're giving Jenn strange dreams. Either way, Jenn isn't getting much sleep.

Mandy apparently adopted again.

Mandy's profile has again been removed from the EHS website, which means I am much happier. I will stay that way until she shows up again.

Sadness

I checked again today, and "Dot", better known as Mandy, is back up on the EHS website. Our initial hopes for a short stay for Mandy have been overthrown. Mandy is still in need of a home and of love. If you know someone who needs/wants a very snuggly apex predator, please point them to "Dot", pet #5900.

Now that I have no snow tires...

AS OF 3 PM RADAR INDICATES BANDS OF SNOW DEVELOPING TO THE NORTHWEST OF EDMONTON VICINITY THE SWAN HILLS. THIS AREA OF SNOW IS FORECAST TO INTENSIFY AND TRACK SOUTHEASTWARDS THIS EVENING. A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL DEVELOP NEAR CALGARY LATER THIS AFTERNOON AND THEN TRACK RAPIDLY SOUTHEASTWARD INTO SOUTHWESTERN SASKATCHEWAN BY WEDNESDAY MORNING. THIS SYSTEM WILL TAP INTO A WARM STREAM OF MOIST PACIFIC AIR AND IS EXPECTED TO BLANKET THE ABOVE REGIONS WITH 8 TO 12 CENTIMETRES OF FRESH SNOW. IN ADDITION THESE AREAS WILL EXPERIENCE STRONG EASTERLY WINDS AND REDUCED VISIBILITIES IN BLOWING SNOW ESPECIALLY IN EXPOSED AREAS. BRIEF PERIODS OF FREEZING RAIN ARE POSSIBLE AS WELL

Mmmmm, warm Pacific air mass, with everything that entails - above-normal temperatures (a wlecome departure, I assure you) moisture in the air, oh yeah, and huge amounts of heavy, wet, slippery snow. I really don't mind, I just hope that my new car with it's low-profile all-seasons doesn't wind me up in the ditch. Just chant along with me, "Drive for the conditions...Drive for the conditions...."

Someone loves Mandy.

Today, I did my normal review of the Edmonton Humane Society website to check up on Mandy. She had been put up on the site about 1 week ago. She is now off of the site, which means that she has been adopted. Someone has seen her extra-love personality and her complete gentleness, and taken her home. I only hope that she will be treated as an indoor cat, and given plenty of love, because that is what she deserves.

For whoever took cat #5900 "Dot" (Real name - Princess Mandolin (Mitten) Manjit Bananna-Muffin Sunbeam-Tiger Cat-Taylor-Kirkaldy (AKA Mangalore, AKA Mandibles, AKA Mang, AKA Mangy-Moo, AKA Mucous)) into their home, I wish you the warmest blessings of whatever god-figure, analogous entity, or lack thereof that you (believe/tell your mom you believe/don't believe) in.

Humiliation at the Opera

On Tuesday, I attended the Edmonton Opera's production of "HMS Pinnafore" as part of the "Opera Explorer's Club" Which is a fancy way of saying "Rush seats, pizza and beer for people under 30 who want to go to the opera".

It was at the pizza and beer intermission that I had my humiliating experience - I was part of a group of people, albiet a small part, who were admonished for.... (it's almost too horrible to say)...

Not Drinking Enough Beer.

Sure enough, of the 50 or so people in the room, there were perhaps 10 who had availed themselves of the free beer that was already poured and waiting for them. I did my best and sucked back two, fast, between acts, but I wasn't able to make a serious dent in the backlog by myself. Embarassing.

Moreover, the Total Loss department has finally gotten back to me about my truck and made a better offer. I will be accepting that and probably buying the car that the firm accepted in lieu of fees from one client. It kind of looks like a drug-dealer's Civic, but that's only because it was, well, a drug dealer's Civic. That having been said, it will be nice to have a vehicle with a trunk again. I am a little dissapointed that I don't get a convertible, but that's on my wishlist for sooner rather than later. The nice thing about the 3rd generation Miatas is that they have dropped the bottom out of the used market for 2nd generation Miatas.

Moist Kitty

Today the inevitible happened. Little Billie fell into the fishtank. She got out just fine, and made a big mess right before the open house, but I don't think she'll be going after those fish for a while.

Post # 200

To celebrate the 200th post, I will provide the good news. I am alive. I have not frozen to death in this cold snap. This, according to the Globe and Mail and other reputable news sources, places me ahead of quite a number of other people in the last week. Two small children have frozen to death in Saskatchewan, three people were killed in a blizzard on the road between Edmonton and Jasper, and a cat was found, I am not making this up, frozen to the sidewalk in Edmonton last week.

In other news, the total loss people have finally told me that they are making an offer on my truck. I will be squeezing them for closer to what it is worth, but I might just be able to buy a working car with what they will give me. Fingers crossed, people.

Jenn Went back to work today. Apparently, it was...bleich. The kids were really happy she was back, and plenty of the staff. On top of that, her grievance has been formalized, and we are now at the start of the actual "under the collective agreement" thing. What that means is that if the timelines for the grievance process all go the maximum length, Jenn's problems might just get resolved by the end of the teaching year. Isn't that great?

Anyway, work has been going good for me, I have been rocking the whole practicing law thing, and I hope to actually be finished my thesis soon too, which would allow me to justify reading for fun.

You can get used to anything

Witness the fact that I was happy on my drive in to work because it was "Only" -38c WITH the windchill. The actual temperature was only -28c.

Next week it is supposed to go up near zero. I don't know how I will cope. I'll have to take off all my clothes and go tanning on the front lawn.

A weather update

The windchill this morning on my way to work was announced on the radio as -47c. My colleague spent an hour digging his car out of the end of his driveway, and had to go home with mild hypothermia at noon.

I am not looking forward to the drive home. I think I may leave early to take advantage of the daylight.

My weather forecast

Here is what environment Canada has to say about Spruce Grove tomorrow:

AN ARCTIC AIR MASS HAS SETTLED OVER NORTHERN AND CENTRAL ALBERTA. THE VERY COLD TEMPERATURES COMBINED WITH A BRISK NORTHERLY WIND WILL PRODUCE EXTREME WIND CHILL VALUES BELOW MINUS 40 TONIGHT INTO MONDAY MORNING. HIGH RISK OF FROSTBITE. EXPOSED SKIN CAN FREEZE IN 5 TO 10 MINUTES OR SOONER DEPENDING ON WIND SPEED. REDUCED VISIBILITIES IN SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW ARE OCCURRING IN THE COLD LAKE, FORT SASKATCHEWAN AND LLOYDMINSTER REGIONS. SNOWFALL AMOUNTS NEAR 10 CENTIMETRES ARE EXPECTED AND WIND CHILL VALUES WILL FALL BELOW MINUS 40. VISIBILITIES AND SNOWFALL ARE EXPECTED TO IMPROVE MONDAY MORNING HOWEVER WIND CHILLS WILL REMAIN BELOW MINUS 40 INTO MONDAY.

Doesn't that sound lovely?

Here are a couple of pictures of the tiny kitten. She is very tiny and very sweet.

Part two of the saga of the visit to the Edmonton Humane Society

As sad as we were to leave Mandy at the shelter for someone who can provide a ferret-proofed space for her, we couldn't leave a cat at an over-capacity shelter without doing our part to make us cat-neutral. On the way home, we were joined by Pet # 5174 (Shiraz). She was promptly re-named in the music theme: Billie (Bear) Holiday Cat-Kirkaldy. She is almost as snuggly as Banjo was when he was her age, but she hasn't shown any distinct preference for Jenn yet, so I have high hopes she might like me too.

I am not very happy.

Last night, Mandy, who has already had an ongoing problem for three years with chewing through string, has moved on to harder stuff. Electrical cords. This makes my cat a fire hazard.

So this afternoon, we are going to the humane society to give her up to the program for cats who are too difficult to live with and are adopted as barn cats. This means that my cat, who is the gentlest cat I think I have ever seen with people (although lethal to anything smaller than her) will have a new life where she will probably never get another tummy rub. After about noon, she won't be getting any from me.

Okay, I know.. Long time no post.

But, hey, it's the holidays, and I can't be expected to make room for blogging when there are cookies to eat.

Okay, here's a roundup of the events since the last post.

Supper club Christmas Dinner - This took place at the apartment down the hall from the crack dealer downtown, otherwise known as M&N's. I must say that the supper was a much needed non-turkey experience, as we would be starting in on a string of traditional Christmas Dinners.

23rd - Our house Christmas Dinner -
We wrapped a free-range turkey in bacon, made Brussels Sprouts a-la-Mornay, mashed potatoes, carrot pudding, creamed carrots with parsley, two kinds of stuffing, and that wasn't including what the family brought (scalloped potatoes, desserts, salads, assorted other veggies). I just want to say that 1: not stuffing a turkey leaves it moister than with stuffing, 2: an electronic probe thermometer on a remote works wonders for having a turkey done exactly right, 3: Jenn's grandma is way too much fun when she's doing shooters with the girls.

24th - Family Supper in Sherwood Park -
There were a lot of dogs. Also there was a baby. The turkey was not as moist. We left early to get to church, where Jenn played flute, which was awesome. Then we went back to the in-laws.

25th - Christmas Morning and Bus Ride -
Turkey sandwiches for lunch, also we got us a bread maker, which kicks bum, since our old one has pretty much kicked the bucket. Jenn gave me a digital camera, which she bought just before learning that we won one in the home lotto. That's getting returned for store credit as soon as we can get there. We have our eyes on a couple of items.

At 3:00, we got on the bus and headed to Calgary. We took the Greyhound as an experiment, rather than the luxury option - the Red Arrow. The Red Arrow is worth the extra money. On the trip down, one fellow was so drunk he thought he was on a plane to Halifax. he started screaming "Just land this M**********R already!!!" along with shouts of "Holy S***" and "F***" and "What the F*** are you looking at?!? I'll take care of YOU!"

Fun, eh? So the driver pulls over, manhandles him to the front of the bus, and calls the cops. Within 10 minutes, buddy is on his way to the RCMP cells in Olds, and I just can't get the old Pogues song "Fairytale of New York" out of my head. Seriously though, No more Greyhound for us. They don't screen the passengers as well as either the airlines or the Red Arrow.

We arrive about a half hour late and eat Tourtierre and Quiche, and play with my brother's Guitar Hero III until it was time to open presents, which we did. I got, among other things, an HBC gift card, which leads us to...

26th - Boxing Day -
We arrived early at the mall, where I bought a new banker's coat at 40% off, and Jenn went nuts at Lululemon. Just after the coat-buying, Jenn shouted at me about hating to shop with me and yelled at us both to leave, so my brother and I headed out to the Wildwood Brewpub (Which has gone downhill) and then to a buddy's place to play "Rock Band" which I found fun because it was like Karaoke for points.

Later we picked up a shopped-out Jenn from the mall, and headed home for turkey dinner #3 at my parents house. This was a somewhat quieter affair, with no shooters and no dogs, just the steady application of too much food and too much wine and too much scotch until the company went home. All in all, a good supper, and it laid the foundation for...

27th - A day of rest (and turkey) -
On the 27th, we went out shopping again, and I picked up some shirts at winners so that I don't have to look like such a gorf all the time. We ate turkey soup for lunch, and turkey-Shepard's pie for supper.

28th - Travel -
Seriously, the greyhound driver took such a retarded route out of the city that we left the terminal at 4:00 and weren't on the highway until almost 5:00. Add to that the fact that the lights in the coach wouldn't turn on, and we had a pretty rotten trip, with no reading, no sudoku, and only our lupper to hold our interest. It included - you guessed it - turkey sandwiches. MMMMMMMMMMMM. I love turkey.

when we arrived back in Edmonton, our car wouldn't start until we plugged it in for about an hour, so we killed some time with getting me a haircut and whatnot.

29th - Today -
Wre have no turkey to eat. In a way, this makes me sad, but then I think of the gallon sized ziplock in the freezer holding our leftovers from the 23rd and all the good things that that will make, and I get a little happy.

In the morning, we listed our house for sale, following which we will be moving back to Edmonton, and lopping about 30-45 minutes each way from our commutes, which will give us an extra 2-3 man-hours per day to put in into renovations. It should also make it easier for our friends to come over, since it is kind of a long haul to Spruce Grove.

This evening, I get to put on my suit and go to a wedding of a distant cousin of Jenn's. This means (I hope) no turkey. Fingers Crossed, people.

So that is my update, I could have broken it down into several chunks over the last few days, but as you can see I was busy, and my Mom's computer is kind of, well, in need of an upgrade.

Happy New Year to all our readers, and for those of you in Supper Club, see you for the annual fondue in a couple days.

Coming up on Christmas

It is now about a month post-accident and the folks at the insurance company have not yet decided if they will be repairing or writing off my truck. I want to know because it is time for an oil change and the tranny fluid could use changed too if I am keeping it. Otherwise, I'm not going to bother.

Christmas is almost upon us, and that means that Jenn's students are performing Christmas concerts. I attended the first one along with a ton of other supporters, and we were really really impressed. Her grade 7 students didn't sound like they had been playing only for a few months (except for one bunch) and her Jr High Jazz band was really really good.

What about other Christmas stuff? My Christmas shopping is just about done, I just need top get Jenn her "Good" present, and the rest is over. That includes buying the turkey for the dinner on the 23rd. I bought a free-range farm turkey from Parkland Packers, although I think I will need to get one more, since it is only 17# and there are at least 12 people coming. I think I will need to get a small turkey to do alongside. I am also making the Christmas pudding as we speak, even though I am probably the only one who will eat it, I will continue to make it until people smarten up. The only thing I really still need for the supper is brussels sprouts, but I'm sure I will be able to manage. They will be made a-la-mornay, as they should be this time of year. The stuffing will be my mom's recipe if I can finagle it, and the cranberry sauce will be hand-made, since I'm that kind of guy.

For New Years, we will be having the Supper Club Gang over for Fondue and debauchery. Mostly debauchery. I have already picked up the non-alcoholic sparkling beverage (for those who don't drink) and some Jacob's Creek Sparkling Pinot Noir Blanc de Noir for those who do, together with Blue Curacao and Raspberry Sourpuss, to make the shooters that the girls all like, which go by the unfortunate name "Porn Star". I suppose that the theory is that if you drink enough of them, you start acting like, well....

I have further been considering another potential new tradition to insert between New Year's fondue and Lunar New Year. I think that I should start a tradition of mid-winter Fiesta in the third week of January. I propose that I host supper club around that time for a menu of traditional Mexican and Tex-Mex offerings. I need to use my tortilla press for something, folks! And don't forget that I have all the tequila in the world lying in my basement, and if I don;t have a reason to use it, I won't finish it before I go back to Mexico. Throw in a couple of cases of Pacifico or Dos Equis, and we are in business.

Yes, I think that we need to get that together.

Update on the accident

So here's the story - I hurt. Not a whole lot yet, just steady. Headache, jaw pain, stiff back, stiff neck... we'll see how it goes.

As for the truck, I took it in to get it appraised for repairs today. Here's the rundown:
Rear Bumper destroyed, both rear quarters damaged slightly where the bumper bent into them, outter panel on the tailgate smashed, frame bent slightly where the bumper attaches (not structural, just a tiny bit of bending) bent front bumper, cracked grille, bent frame pieces where front bumper attaches to frame, and my personal favourite, damage to two panels on the back of my cab where the frame flexed enough to smash the back of the box into the back of the cab (a 1 inch gap).

Conclusion? He hit me really really hard. He bent my truck in half and really messed the thing up. Tough little truck, though, and cheap to fix. Cost to repair? About $4500-$5300. Market value of the truck? Maybe $4000-$5500.

And therein lies the problem, folks, depending on whether the adjuster has had his coffee on the morning he opens my file, I might or might not get to keep driving my truck. I can't help but feel partly responsible, however, since I have had green truck for two years now, and have never given green truck a name, and because of that, bad things happened to it.

That is why I am sending out an SOS to the world and asking you all - If green truck survives, what should I name it?

My first thought - Thumper.

Pressing Questions of our times...

Many people have asked me, "Hey, Owen... What is it really like to be concussed?" This question has been based on a number of factors... My tendency to hit my head on things, my general clumsiness, and my occasionally asinine statements on the human condition.



So as of today, I can tell you with all honesty, being concussed sucks. It is like the last half of a medium-bad hangover. You vomit, you get chills, you get dizzy, and you feel generally rotten. Then your wife gets you out of bed to take you to the hospital so that the doctor can tell you that what you need is bed rest. What I personally think I need is to not have my head slammed into the rear window of my truck.



Oh, yes, the truck... probably written off, thanks for asking. The damage to the rear bumper and tailgate is pretty severe, and the truck isn't worth that much to begin with, which means we will probably have to buy another new vehicle which may have to put off moving back to Edmonton for a while. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see how bad the damage to the front bumper is.



Oh, yes, the front bumper. Not only was I rear-ended by the chief of the Duncan's First Nation (just outside of Peace River, incidentally (the first nation, not the accident)) in his brand new GMC Denali (indian chief must pay well these days), I was thrown forward a carlength or so into the back of a Student-at-law driving a Santa Fe. When we exchanged business cards, we just laughed.



So anyway, WAD 1-2, we'll see how it turns out, and a concussion. Nice way to spend your weekend, no?

Been a while

Boy it has been a while since I posted anything. The reason for that? Busy, but doing things that aren't very interesting. I have been taking a course every friday in Calgary, Jenn has been doing report cards and now doing parent/teacher night. Also band camp is next week. In and amongst all that we have decided to move back into Edmonton, since what we would save on gas in a month would top up what we need for a mortgage on a fully detached bungalow in a good location. Needless to say I have spent the evenings lately painting, spackling and cleaning.

I have been so busy, in fact, that I have not had time to make beer. I am almost beerless. The only beer I have is the good one that I want to send to competitions this year, so I don't want to drink it.

So that is what we are doing. Boring, I know.

Alberta Health

Well, our Christmas present budget may have gone the way of the Dough-Dough (see, an extinct bird pun). Alberta Health just tracked us down after two moves and dinged us with almost $1,100.00 in overdue premiums. We're applying for the subsidy, but Christmas shopping is on hold until such time as we can get this sorted out. Watch this space if you feel like you should be getting a present from us, because you will be able to find out for sure if you will not be getting one. Announcements will be made!

Stupid government.

Based on the forms and the website, we qualify. Based on what the person told me on the phone, we don't. All I can do is apply and find out.

What fun.

I Made the Vile Bastards Sing the Barney Song...

Well, I am officially a sadistic witch... And it feels great!

I decided if you can't beat 'em, make 'em sing. My new policy is if you are late for my Social Studies class you have two choices, you can 1. Go and visit with the principal, or 2. Stand at the front of the room and sing a song of my choosing. I got to test it out twice yesterday. It was glorious! The kids never pick going to the principals office...Wonder why?

The first group was a pack of three young lads who have been showing up for class late fairly often. After numerous detentions and even phone calls home, I decided I needed something more powerful. All three boys were told to stand at the front of the room facing the class. Now, to trully appriciate this you need to know that in my classroom I have a "stage"- the front. The first 6 feet of my room are literally a stage that is about 3/4 of a foot higher than the rest of the room, so they really get the spotlight, I even had the projector shinning on them!... But anyhow back to the delinquents. So they figured it was no big deal that they were 8 minutes late and class had started. When the boys arrived they were told to stand at the front and that they would be performing. When they asked me what they were to sing I told them twinkle twinkle little star. They started the song and it died about three beats in. They didn't know the words. So then I told them to do the ABC song. They started and then they messed up the alphabet. After getting a laugh out of the class for not knowing the alphabet, I told them they had to sing it again, without mistakes. They did it again, but no one could hear it, so I made them do it again- louder. Well, by the end of it these boys, who had been trying so hard to go for "Joe Cool", were nothing more than red faced geeks who didn't even know the alphabet. They won't be late again. The second group that was late in one of my other classes got to do the Barney Song. Even they had to do it several times. I think the lates and bad behaviour will stop. If not, I am on a role comming up with sadistic punishments so that I at least get some enjoyment out of my work. I must say, I really enjoy comming up with ways to punish my bad little students.

Just to let you all know, I did have a better week this week. I think I might not quit afterall, at least not until next week...

So I just voted

I feel that it is important to vote even in something as inconsequential as the Spruce Grove Municipal election, and as such, I studied the campaign lit, checked some boxes, and exercised my franchise yet again. At least this time, I had no notion of hating any of the candidates I was voting for, as has been the case in the past.

Also, I changed the furnace filter. It really needed it.

The rare and irregular rantings of Jenn...

Well, this our blog afterall. I realize I don't write very often. It's rare that I have time. But I have decided to take some time today.

First year teaching sucks. The first month of this first year was bloody awful. I am not really enjoying my job right now and what's more is I wonder if I ever will. Everyone says it gets better. I hope they are right, but right now I don't believe them. The kids are horrible people, every last one of them. They are all so obnoxious and I am starting to get really tired of dealing with them. I just don't remember it every being ok to waltz into a class late in junior high. I also don't remember it ever being ok to come to class unprepared, yet for some reason my students don't seem to understand why I get mad at them for these behaviours, or why they get punished for them. Usually when you rub a puppy's nose in his mistake he understands, it just doesn't seem to work the same with my students- they really don't get it. Sometimes I think maybe I should just be meaner, and that may be the approach I need to take with these kids. It seems to be what is needed. They all already hate me, and to tell you the truth I don't like them any either, so there is nothing to loose. I just don't ever remember these behaviours as being ok. Now to be completely honest, most of these behaviours are comming from my grade 9 social studies kids and not my band students, my band students are great and I like most of them.

What's really getting me right now is all the work I am doing just to "stay afloat" as the say. I have been putting in 14 hour days and working through the weekends right now. I calculated it out, and if this is what it takes, I am making about $12.00 and hour. I am getting to the point where I am considering not teaching next year if things don't improve soon. I am taking things one week at time in order to be a bit more positive and to look for the improvements. It's hard though, I am tired. I wake up at night and can't get back to sleep because I am thinking about work too much. On Tuesday I have 3 boys in for detentions at lunch for comming late to my class and waltzing right in during an in-progress exam. It gets better though... They thought it was ok to walk up to students who were writing their exams and start talking to them. The Gall! I couldn't believe it. So they have a lunch hour detention (because we can't keep them after school) and now I have to think of some creative punishment for them to fulfill. I am thinking of retorting to lines or making them write an essay, but I don't know.... Some peoples kids...sigh.

On a more exciting note, we got to go to two hockey games this weekend. We saw the Oilers beat Philly 5-3 on Saturday and yesterday we saw the Pats beat the Oil Kings 6-2... The Oil Kings have only been playing together for a few weeks though, I think there is still hope for them as a team... We took my little sister and the Spanish exchange student that has been living with my family to the Oil Kings game. She is an adorable girl and she loved the hockey. She escpecially loved the fighting and smashing. She also was quite intriuged by the fact that most of the boys on the team were 16-19, or at least she was until she saw their teeth....

This cold sucks.

I started coming down with this whatever it is on Sunday night, and now I am strongly considering going to the doctor if it doesn't improve over the weekend. I woke myself up coughing last night at 1:00 AM, which was not fun. I'm off to take some dayQuil

First Day of Work

Got there on time, by 1:30 I thought I was going to pass out I was so dizzy. My throat went from scratchy to can't swallow, and I had no cough drops. When I got home, I went to bed at 8:00 PM, and didn't get up until 6:30 the next morning, when I went to do it all over again.

And most of my files haven't made it there yet. I'm taking about 30. I looked at the family law files at the new firm, and there are about 120. Tomorrow morning I am going to go through and see where things are and what needs done and see how many of these are real files and how many are just sitting or A/R. 150 files..... That's a lot. I consider 80 a full load. We'll see how the split with MD goes.

Oh, did I mention that the family law assistant's last day was last Friday? Anyone know a legal assistant who wants work?

Last day of work

Yesterday was my last day of work at my old firm. I worked there for exactly one year. I learned a few things while I was there. Most of them were law related, but here are a few of the non-law-related ones:

1: My ability to drink coffee has grown into an inability to drink caffinated tea.

2: It isn't worth it to work at a firm that is so overworked, understaffed, and disorganized that I have to constantly apologize to clients for the mess.

3: Divorce lawyers are in huge demand both from the general public, and other firms. Since they found out I am moving (and because of that, ultimately movable) multiple other firms have called me to say that they are looking too and if I want to come and do divorce at their shop if I am not happy at my new place, they will make it worth my while.

4: Don't eat at the Rainbow Palace in Spruce Grove. It's terrible.

Flute Rock

So last night Jenn and I saw Jethro Tull in concert. I have a few observations:

With the dollar at par, a concert t-shirt shouldn't cost $40.00

That dude is too old to be doing that.

That dude is having way too much fun with a flute.

Dude: This is a whole assortment of old dudes, both on stage, and in the audience.

Seriously, though, it was a rockin' concert, and because it was directed at 50-somethings and starred 60-somethings, it was over by 10:30, which is good on a weeknight, even though that still had us going to bed much later than normal.

I assume that Jenn could go into more detail or speak understandably about the fluting.

Jenn's New Job V - Attack of the Clone Job

So today, a little late, Jenn was offered a job teaching band at Victoria Composite, which is the Public School System's arts focus school. She is currently on contract to Edmonton Catholic, but this bodes well for the possibility of her finding a permanent contract once she is done her temp. What happy news. Multiple boards are "keeping her in mind for next year" and since she has had job offers from both major boards already, how much better might it be when she has a year under her belt and experience teaching a core subject (social studies).

I think that tomorrow's dinner party will be to celebrate Jenn's employability.

Accidental Feast

Last night I got a phone call from Nick the Mighty Brewer, seeing if I wanted to bottle some beer on Saturday and maybe do something. Soon enough, he and M were arranged to come over. Then we realized that if they were coming, shouldn't we invite these other two people, and by this time I was planning a dinner party. It wasn't long before I was inviting over Jenn's cousin into the bargain, and so now we are having a dinner party for 6 on Saturday without really having ever meant to.

The menu is secret, but suffice it to say that there will be meatloaf.

The extra fun will come from the fact that Jenn is teaching flute for, like, 6 hours on Saturday, and I will be prepping it all myself, which will be fine, since I really am the cook here, I mean really, like, most of the time.

Saturday

The first Saturday we have to ourselves in about 4 weeks. What do we do with it? We clean the house. We have floors! There are counters under all that stuff! Hey, what's this thing? Why, it's the vacuum cleaner! Well, as long as we have found it, we may as well use it.

Hey, what are these Parmesan rinds doing in the freezer? Time to make soup. Yum yum yum. Whoops, time to do the laundry.....one load, two loads, white load, blue load. Boy, I wish we had folded laundry from the last time we did it two weeks ago. Now we have a months worth of laundry to fold. What fun.

Hopefully we will have enough spare time to go to the Bay and spend my gift cards. I need some shorts for going to the gym.

Maybe Sunday will be more of an "us" day. Who knows.

Jenn's New Job IV - The Phantom Lunch

So this weekend, our plan was for Me to pick Jenn up after school at 3:00 and go for an early supper. Three hours later, we decided to go and come back and finish the work the next day. We came back to the school Saturday at 10, and didn't leave until 9:30.

All the kids have been assigned instruments who it is possible to do it for. That leaves, um, lemme see, half. Jenn needs to assess each and assign an instrument and do the necessary paperwork to get that in place. This means that I will be coming to her school after I am done practicing law for the day and doing her administrative work so that she can get all these instruments assigned before the kids have their "how to play ______instrument" Field trip on Wednesday. Assessments will therefore be taking place Monday and Tuesday at lunch and after school.

Sunday night Jenn gets an e-mail stating that she is on lunch monitor duty all but one day per week until further notice.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Not supposed to happen to teachers who are doing after-school activities 3-4 nights per week.

First year teacher on a temp contract - good idea to make a fuss?

Grrrrrrrrr

Jenn's New Job III - Revenge of Jenn's New Job

So now, in addition to her position as a full-time teacher for Edmonton Catholic, Jenn has a very part time gig directing the Edmonton Homeschool Band once per week. The pay isn't huge, but it is welcome for two young people who are, even now, embracing the lifestyle.

More exciting news from the people who brought you Jenn's new Job!

Jenn's new job the sequel - Owen's new Job!

Yes, you heard right, Owen has a new job. Starting in October, Owen will be doing the exact same thing as before, but for almost twice as much money. At the same time, Jenn will be doing different stuff than before, but for more than twice as much money.

All in all, When it comes to money, we will have more of it. What will we do with it, you ask? Pay off our scary-big loans. That and a trip to Scotland. And maybe some DVDs.

Oh yeah

One other thing has been keeping me from posting for the last week. I have been enjoying the first bicycle I have owned in 18 years. I grew out of my last bike at about 12, knees hitting the handlebars at every turn, and never got another, suburban Calgary being rather a car kind of town, and me being a teenager. A bike couldn't have hurt, though, what with the getting fat between 10 and 27.

Anyway, I cheaped out and bought a discounted floor model from Walmart (I know, I know, if you are going to buy a bike, support local business and buy a decent one or your life will suck and boils will break out all over your body and the poor Mexicans who assembled your bike will all die in a factory fire). I didn't have the money for a good one, and I haven't ridden a bike in 18 years, so I figured I wouldn't blow a ton up front in case I hated it.

I bought a CCM Commuter, which is a hybrid bike, an ungainly tall thing with sticky shifters and a tendency to steer wide on fast corners. Maybe that's just my not having ridden a bike in 18 years.

Anyway, I have been taking advantage of the excellent bike trail system in Spruce Grove just near my house, which leads down through a series of lovely parks. I can also get to work quite quickly as long as I don't have to go to court, which would require a motor vehicle.

Anyway, I'm having a ton of fun with it.

woot

Sorry for the long absence

Jenn and I have been wildly busy, I have been knocking myself out getting all my ducks in a row so I can take a week off without having my brain explode when I get back, and Jenn has been working like a dog getting ready to teach 11 non-semestered classes in fall.

Over the weekend, we went down to Calgary to visit my parents, move old furnishings from next door to my folks house, make fabulous Chinese feasts, go shopping for my dad's birthday present, make a dozen or so jars of homemade relish, go for a beer with some friends who Jenn hasn't seen in over a year, and see the Mousecat's new townhouse and what they have been doing to it. Not a bad amount of stuff to do over the course of two days, not the most relaxing vacation, although since I didn't have to get anyone divorced in that time, it was swell. For all of you in Calgary (and I know that some of you are) who might feel put out that we didn't get together this weekend, well, We spent approximately 90 minutes the whole weekend doing non-family stuff, so chill out. So there! At some point, we will plan for a weekend in Calgary more than 3 days in advance, at which point we will try to get together with everyone. Right now that looks like Christmas.

So what do I have planned for the upcoming week?

Bottle that blonde ale, and maybe brew up a batch of something on Saturday. That's about it. Keep Jenn company at her school and help set up her classroom a bit.

Anyway, that about wraps it up for this entry, although if the Mahones Western tour stops at Saskatoon (a two night stand at Lydia's in early October) I may just have to impose on the hospitality of the FabSuz and Cheruby for one of those nights. I haven't been to a Mahones Concert in 3 years, and it is starting to get on my nerves.

Finished yet another draft

except for double checking the footnotes, which I can't really do until I get home, I have finished my latest thesis draft. This one went really slow because I was also practicing law full time throughout. Sucks to be me. Happily, I expect to be DONE SOON!

To celebrate, Jenn and I will go to a hole-in the wall curry joint we know tonight for supper. It's cheap, but very good, just like me.

Details

Now that I have a lunch hour to myself, I will tell you all about Jenn's job saga.

Months ago, Jenn interviewed for a job at a Jr/Sr. high in the Edmonton Catholic system, with a teacher who was going on sabbatical for a year to take his place while he was gone. She was supposed to be interviewed by the principal and the board after that, and find out about the position.

Months passed, and the only contact was weekly phone calls and e-mails from this teacher asking if she had been contacted by the principal or board yet.

Monday, seems he snapped. He calls, asks, Jenn says, "No, still no word, and now I've applied to Calgary Board, because they seem to have jobs available."

20 minutes later Jenn gets a call from the board for an interview the next morning as early as possible, which happens to be 11:00. Five minutes into that interview, it is cut short and she is shipped to the principal of the school for another interview. By 1:00 PM, she had been offered the job. Full time 7/8 band with a small portion of Social 9 into the mix. Celebrations started Tuesday evening, and will be continuing until Monday night. Jenn's last day at the bandstand is expected to be August 10, in order to give her time to set up and get ready for her program come fall, so in 2.5 weeks, Jenn will be enjoying an actual summer holiday. Mine doesn't come until the last week of August, when we will be going camping in Jasper.

What does this all mean? Career advancement, money, the satisfaction of knowing that 6 years of education will actually be put to good use, Jenn maybe de-stressing a bit.

All in all, a good early anniversary present.

Got a job

Details to follow.

Can't find a Job

So it seems I can't find a job here, not in Spruce Grove, Stony Plain or any other part of the Edmonton or the Greater Edmonton Area. Nothing came open up here this year. By job I of course mean teaching music for a school.

I have applied to the Calgary Board of Education, which means a move to Calgary or the Calgary area is possible. I really would rather not move again though, and Owen would REALLY REALLY rather not move again.

Camping

Last weekend on the Canada day thingy, Jenn and I went camping with her parents, and a half-dozen other folks from the church. Mostly we were supervising the youth group. We drove up to Jasper and stayed at the Whistlers campground, which is huge, but doesn't seem that way when you are in there.

We hiked, we soaked in the hotsprings, we hung around the campsite, we spent Canada Day in Jasper shopping, attending parades and ceremonies, and watching fireworks. We had a blast.

The main downside is that I was right outside the Jasper Brewing Company, and I didn't get to go and try the beer because as a youth sponsor, God help me if I have a pint.

Other than that it was nice to get out away from the city and just relax for a couple of nights. I would consider doing it again.

Just for Kelly

Cheers to Kelly for his comment on Yoo Hoo. Just for you I will let everyone know that I bottled Treewhale Old Ale today, and it promises to be a stunner. I anticipate it to be around 7% Alcohol, at the low end. I would have an accurate number, but the recipe was lost and the hydrometer was broken when I made it.

For those wanting to try a commercial example and drink along, try Theakston's Old Peculiar.

Why Victoria is the Classiest city in North America

when I saw this link, I thought milk would come out of my nose. This is the coolest hydraulic semi-permanent instalation for public urination I have ever seen.

Yoo hoo

I have decided to ask the potentially depressing question - "How many people actually read my blog?"

Notwithstanding the fact that I mostly blog for myself, I wonder how many people check it. A handful comment, but many others have mentioned it in passing who I would never suspect.

My request is that if you read this blog, even occasionally or in passing, that you post a comment on this entry, so that I can get an idea of who is watching (and adjust the content appropriately)

The house is now clean.

Two weeks after moving in and after untold hours of unpacking, cleaning, de-cluttering, throwing crap out, and stacking boxes in the garage, we are now living in a clean and tidy house with no boxes lying around.

We are unpacked.

To celebrate (admittedly we did this before finishing) I made Jenn and I Eggs benny with homemade hollandaise sauce for breakfast. I can feel my heart failing as we speak.

I discovered in the process that hollandaise sauce is actually really easy to make, like most things, you just need to pay attention to what you are doing and have your ingredients ready when you start. I've been making homemade mayonnaise for a year, and it is way more work (although a little less tricky).

Tonight we are having a barbecue for Jenn's practicum class, and tomorrow, Jenn's family are coming over to see the place now that it is presentable. What a full weekend we have planned.

Yesterday, though, we went shopping with a $500 gift card at Home Depot. We got all kinds of things that we decided (in our wisdom) that we needed as new homeowners. A couple of fire extinguishers, CO detector, big garbage can, rake, weed eater, fertilizer, weed killer, hose, attachments, bbq cover, a hand-held shower head to make cleaning beer equipment a snap, and a few other little items along the way. We only managed to get through about $350 of the $500, though, which should leave us enough money to paint at least one room, once we decide on colours.

Oh, and on Friday I took the day off to finish editing my thesis, and I did. Now all I have to do is to input the changes on the computer and hand it it, and I will be close, oh so close to finished my three year odyssey and putting another 3 letters behind my name.

I think I will celebrate with making beer. As soon as I bottle Treewhale Old Ale, I will have to make something else. I just wonder what.

Report on that soon.

Beer 2 weeks ago

So 2 weeks ago I made some beer. I was too hung over the next day to post the recipe, and I can't find the notes we made. Here's my best guess:

Treewhale Old Ale

13 pounds Rhar 2 row pale malt
10 Oz Crystal Malt (80 L)
6 oz Dark Munich Malt
1 tsp gypsum
1 tsp Irish moss

24 g Warrior Hops (90 minutes) 16.4%
14 g East Kent Golding hops (10 Minutes) 4.6%

Wyeast London 1028

We boiled that sucker up for 90 minutes and mashed at 156 degrees or so for an hour. I have no idea if it converted because Nick the Mighty Brewer left the Iodine at home.

I have no idea of the OG because I broke my hydrometer when I moved. (I have a new one now)

So it smells real good. I might bottle this weekend if the gravity is close to reasonable.

That's it.

Jenn's Convocation

Today, Jenn convocated with her BMus class, while I wallowed in human misery for money. Then we went out for the supper that Jenn has been bugging me to take her to for over two years. We went to Jack's Grill, an Edmonton institution (not that Edmonton Institution, the one without orange jumpsuits) that serves up hella good food for hella lotta money.

We started with small tender squid, which was served tossed in very good olive oil with a confit of roasted tomato, nicoise olives, calamari tentacles, and fennel. This, for lack of a better word, was fabulous. We followed the squid with two entrees. Jenn had the Chicken breast stuffed with bacon and shallot with potato and spinach gnocchi and puree of squash, and I had the grilled duck breast with blackcurrant sauce and potato hash with duck confit and steamed baby fiddleheads.

Jenn described her chicken as the best chicken she has ever eaten. I had a bite. I believe her. My duck was outstanding. The danger of duck is that it will be either overdone and yucky or too rare and fatty. It wasn't. The sauce, a blackcurrant demi-glace was fabulous.

Because we had shown restraint with the appys, we went whole hog on the desserts. Jenn had a remarkable tarte aux citron, and I had a bread pudding with brandy and rum sauce with creme Chantilly, and coffee.

Then I came home and ironed and cleaned the cat box.

Many people writing online reviews of Jack's Grill have gone on at length about how rude the service is. Dismissive. Cold.

Hogwash.

The reason that the busboy doesn't speak as he refreshes the bread basket or your water or coffee or removes your plate isn't that he doesn't like you (he doesn't) or that he thinks you are some hick redneck in from the country in your threadbare Sunday go-to-meeting clothes (he does). He doesn't speak to you because it would be inappropriate to do so. You aren't there to chat with the help, and they shouldn't spend their time chatting with you. This ain't earls. The waiters are middle aged men who have clearly been doing this for a long time. Corks are extracted from wine bottles without drama, drinks are mixed and poured without fuss and in appropriate portions. No patrons are subjected to any description whatsoever of the personal lives of the staff.

In this overheated economy, they have found that most remarkable of things - staff who know what the hell they are doing and don't make a fuss about it.

Jacks Grill gets five perfectly chilled dry martinis. Plenty of classics here, well executed.

The Joy of Weather

So today from my office window, the staff and I watched a tornado touch down about four miles south-west. Then I went home, closed the windows on the upstairs bedrooms, and soaked up the rain that had gotten in. Happily, I have two fans, one for each soaked patch of carpet.

On the up side, the basement seems very dry. That is nice.

Last night, I got a phone call from Jenn at about 6:00, and all I could hear on the other end was Big Bad Voodoo Daddy live in concert. I sure do love it when I don't get to go to awesome concerts, but instead hear patches of them on a static-y cellphone while I drive on highway 16A.

Tonight, I had planned to get some work done, and hopefully that is what occurs. Whether or no, I should take this time to actually make myself something to eat. Off to supper I go.

My computer is now set up

And my wife is out of the country until Thursday.

The cats are agitated, and I have my very own laundry.

Soon my whole office will be set up.

And Yesterday I made beer. And drank beer.

I am tired, but not as tired as I was on Friday.

I am looking forward to getting back to normalish this week.