La Boheme Edmonton

Restaurant review for La Boheme

La Boheme is located on 112 Avenue and 64th street in Edmonton in a Bed & Breakfast that has been converted from a block of Pre-WWI luxury apartments. The theme is french, the focus, according to the website, is southern french and Rhone. Notwithstanding this assertion, and apart from a Moroccan Style couscous on the menu, the theme seems to be squarely in the traditional cuisine bourgeois that one would like to expect in a French restaurant.

We arrived at 7:15 for our 7:30 reservation, and were directed immediately to our table, which was set up with two low lounge chairs, leaving the patron leaned back and low at the table. It felt like you were at the kiddie table. On the walls were cheap "french" art prints from Home Outfitters of the type one would buy if one wanted to do a "Paris" themed room in a showhome. The bar was behind us, and had a collection of vintage 'stubbies' along the top. 'Trying very hard to be charming' would be my description of the decor, and throughout the evening, I was back and forth between my impression that this place was either trying too hard or not trying hard enough.

If a place wants to be a cheerful bistro where people can get good french food in a fun atmosphere, that is what it should be. If a restaurant is a fine-dining restaurant, that is what it should be. It should not have the worst aspects of each.

Lets start with the prices - we went because they started a marketing scheme through our local Costco whereby they would sell $100.00 gift cards for $70.00, thereby bringing in the crowd they would not normally get. In reality, they have simply raised the price of the Prix Fixe menu from 70 to 100 dollars to compensate. It still says $70.00 on the website, and that was not the first time we ran into price discrepancies that night.

Soon upon being seated we opted out of the prix fixe in favour of the a-la-carte (a much cheaper option) I ordered escargots in a puff pastry shell with garlic cream emulsion and Jenn, being adventurous, had the soupe a l'onion gratinee, or french onion soup. For a main, I ordered rack of lamb demi-glace medium rare, and jenn ordered the supreme of chicken with a fig and port demi-glace and camborzola cheese. The house wine selection was good, I had a glass of Chapoutier Rhone and Jenn had the house rose.

Then we started to wait.

Bread arrived - 4 small pieces of warmed over baguette, along with little plastic tubs of dairymaid butter. Here is where I first started to get the impression that something was wrong. In a restaurant where the set menu is $100.00 plus wine, you don't serve plastic tubs of butter that wouldn't be out of place at a cheap roadside diner. Hell, even Denny's provides a tub of whipped butter if you get the pancakes. How hard is it to do a few curls of butter for your guests? As the bread was going on the table, the basket overturned, and flew on the floor. Another was provided, but this was the first sign that our servers were not the 'a' team.

CRASH! A stack of plates comes crashing down in the kitchen.

I look at Jenn as two old guys in berets speaking to each other in broad Albertan twangs sit down for coffee at the next table, talking about used cars and casinos. Loudly.

Eventually the appetizers arrive. Mine is placed too far to the right and on top of my knife. If it had been the soup of the day, it would have been on my lap. We dig in. Both are salty.... very salty, but what do you expect from french onion soup? Mine was at least tasty. Can't really screw up garlic and cream. The puff pastry shell was kind of tough. I've done better pastry myself, and I am quite the neophyte. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the shells are pre-made and frozen until needed. The plate holding each appy was on a larger charger plate with a paper napkin between. Not a fancy one either, the kind you buy by the thousand at Costco.

The old guys in berets get up, wander over to an empty table, pull the chairs around, and, I kid you not, pulled out a fiddle and accordion and began playing jazz standards. It seemed like a kind of desperate attempt to seem french. If I had come across a restaurant doing this in France, I would have probably given it a wide berth, as it was obviously directed at yokel tourists.

The empty cocktail glass that a waitress had left on the empty table in the middle of the room was still there some time later.

Then the espresso machine began to flood the area behind the bar. Mop, mop, mop.....CRASH! Another something hits the floor in the kitchen.

Jenn was parched after the salt in her soup, and her water was long since empty.... I gave her mine. It was a long time before they were filled again.

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Went the ancient Pepsi cooler behind the bar, until the maitre-d went over and slapped it hard in the logo across the top - behind which the compressor was having a seizure.

Time passed. Patience waned. At 8:45, well over an hour after we had ordered, our mains arrived, coated in the saltiest demi-glace I have ever tasted. By that time, Jenn's rose was warm. Jenn couldn't finish her chicken. I made an effort on my rack of lamb, which was, at least, cooked medium-rare, and even dug into the blandest herbed mashed potatoes I have ever had. Nothing was outstanding. Nothing was worth the price on the menu. We complained about the saltiness of the demi-glace and looked at the dessert menu. We decided - based on the other food - to give dessert a miss. We just wanted to leave. The bill arrived, and Jenn's chicken was $4.00 more than the price on the menu, notwithstanding it was not a bargain t that price either, we decided not to complain but to pay up and leave.

$125.00 including tax and tip for a meal with no dessert and two glasses of house wine.

I give La Boheme a failing grade.

Those of you who know me know that while I may be a bit of a connoisseur, I am not a snob. I will dig into a good corn-dog or greasy diner breakfast with equal enthusiasm as I hold for hommard a l'americainne grattinee or a hundred bucks worth of prime sushi. The problem isn't that I am snobby, or that I am looking to find fault. I went to La Boheme half desperate to have a good experience. What I got was food with low scores for execution and a staff who would have gotten themselves fired from any Earls they might have been lucky enough to be hired at. The whole thing reeked of a non-pro status, and that isn't worth the price of admission.